It's all good.
Howdy folks. It was high time that I put out a groovy podcast. As much funk as I listen to it’s weird that I haven’t kicked out the jams as they say.
This rectifies that a bit, with some Parliament kicking it off, and Yo! Flaco closing it down.
Enjoy your holiday weekend!!
I was driving home from work today, in a bit of rush because Trish had a meeting to go to, when I got behind a slow ass SUV on 141 off of Hwy 40. I stayed back about 1 1/2 – 2 car lengths, a steady pace but a pace that had he been paying attention would have let him know he was going too slow and I wanted to pass. My hope was that he’d get the hint and move on.
That didn’t happen.
He continued on his slow journey through the fast lane. An oppurtunity to scoot on over into the right hand lane presented itself and I took it. At that part of northbound 141 the far right lane becomes and exit for Clayton road. I moved casually into the lane, the same car lengths between myself and the van in front of me, and sped up just a bit.
But NOW, the dude decides that he should switch lanes, specifically into the one I had just moved into. I was ticked. There was plenty of space for him to switch lanes before I did but he chooses to move over seconds after I do? That was messed up. He couldn’t have been reading my actions because he sure wasn’t looking in the rear view mirror. Indeed he didn’t appear to be aware that I was behind him. Why do I think that? Because a:) I was hanging on him for a good half mile without a flinch and b:) he was very close to hitting me.
So I laid on the horn. I rarely use it but when I’m in danger of getting hit I’ll use a bazooka to get someone’s attention if I have to. Thankfully, he didn’t hit me. The horn had little to do with it. The guy had only paused in my lane and moved into the Clayton Road exit lane.I didn’t stick around long enough to see that move completed because I wanted to get away from him. At least he used a blinker. I moved back to the fast lane, and promptly sped up to about 65 to get past him, and then slowed down a little.
I was going 55 mph when I saw the lights of a Town & Country police car behind me.
Busted.
I figure I was about due. Speeding and reckless driving in general isn’t really my thing anymore, but when I’m in a rush I do speed. There may be some sort of My Name Is Earl-like karma deficit from early driving habits. The last time I got pulled over was February of 1999 for a busted headlight. In the interest of full disclosure, that time I ended up getting arrested for an overdue ticket (which will be another story).
Back to today.
The old drill kicks in: key’s out of the ignition, seat belt still on, pulled over as far to the right as I can, hands on steering wheel.
Young cop, late 20′s I’d say comes around to the passenger side window. Professionally but forcefully says, “Sir, do you know that I just watched you tailgate another vehicle, aggressively tailgate them when they changed lanes, blared your horn, and then sped past them at 65 mph?”
Damn.
No customary, “Do you know why I pulled you over,” inquiry. Just a pretty hard edge description of what just happened. Not going to jabber my way out of that. In my youth it was sometimes ridiculous what I could talk my way out of. One of the next words that came out of his mouth was ‘road rage’.
Double damn.
As he examined my license and insurance (all current) I explained much as I just did a second ago: In a rush to get home, speeding, guy going too slow, changed lanes, guy followed a second later, laid on the horn, afraid of getting hit, took off to get away from him, and here we are. I had to acknowledge that I understood why he would come to that conclusion, but added I let my frustration get the better of me. That wasn’t bullsh*t either, just simple fact and I started to feel like an idiot for letting that happen. I stopped yelling trademark creative insults at drivers years ago. Bad or irritating drivers aren’t worth the time it takes me to be irritated.
He went back to his car, wrote everything up and came back. He was gone a while, but not so long that I was nervous.
Him: I only wrote you for the tailgating, the court date is on the back. You can do it by mail if you want but you can go before the judge instead. But once he sees road rage and sees the video (darn police department with huge tax base) he’ll probably have me write you more tickets.
Me: I’ll just do it by mail. This was a bad call on my part, and I appreciate the break (he didn’t write me for speeding 15mph over). I hope I don’t sound like a smart ass by asking, but when is it appropriate to use a horn these days? (if using it is a component of road rage then what are they for anymore?)
Him: Depends on the situation.
Me: I see.
Him: You’ve got to be careful now, people can carry guns in their car. You never know.
He continued:
“You’re the first person I haven’t arrested and whose car I haven’t impounded for this.”
Triple damn.
Now that it’s all said and done I feel like a real jerk. I understand why he thought I was being aggressive, watching the scene from his mind’s eye I’d probably agree. But knowing that I’m not aggressive like that, but knowing that was his assessment, is what makes me feel like a jerk. In this rare instance I let my frustration get the better of me. I should have done what I usually do, lay back a few more car lengths and and just let the chucklehead chuckle along.
It reminds of something Henry Rollins once said: If you mess with an asshole, you’re nothing but an asshole.
Today, I’m the asshole.
This short video clip was shot last Wednesday (05-17-06) while Trish watched Truman (Miller) for a couple of hours at our house. He and Porter got on great, which is cool because Porter doesn’t get a lot of time hanging out with other little boys. He’s asked a couple of times since then if “tru-tru” was coming back. You can see a couple of pics at Alex (Miller)’s website. The video quality isn’t that good (it was shot on our digital camera) but it’s a fun little shot.
I hope y’all enjoy this newest podcast. It’s a bit out of the realm of what I usually do and it was fun. So, get your Americana hats on for the first part, your kinda jazzy hats for the second, and your he’s-playing-what? hats for the 3rd section.
Here’s a chapter from the book Primus front man will be releasing in July called South Of The Pumphouse. From what I’ve read it was adapted from a screenplay he wrote, but was set aside when he made the jam band parody film, Electric Apricot.